Part 1: The Demon Train

1. More The Legend Of Zelda Spirit Tracks Train Images
2. The Legend Of Zelda Spirit Tracks All Trains
3. Crimson Loftwing
4. Zelda And The Spirit Tracks
5. Tinliner

Your first train, the Spirit Train, has a vitality of 4 hearts. When you use at least two train cars from a set other than the Spirit set, your vitality will increase to 5 hearts. For The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks on the DS, a GameFAQs Q&A question titled 'How do I unlock Golden train parts?' Weirdly enough, the parts of the game that drag are usually the ones that involve you directly controlling a train. Spirit Tracks is designed as a follow-up to the last DS release for the Zelda series, Phantom Hourglass.

After defeating the evil trains on the tracks in the dark realm,you'll find yourself on a set of tracks, going north.There are four northbound tracks on the screen, and from time to timethere will be a connection going from your track to one of the neighboringtracks.

Soon the Demon Train will appear. Be sure to stay out of its way, oryou'll get hurt. Definitely get out from behind it if you end up behind it,because there's no way to fight the Demon Train from behind.And remember, there are skulls around the tracks, so shoot these with your cannon if your train needs hearts.

Be careful, also, of floating fireballs that sit on the tracks. Thesewill hurt you if you go through them. The top screen will show you which track you will end up on whenever you're about to get to an intersection.

Travel alongside the Demon Train, and in the first part, it will open uphatches in its rear car. It will spit out explosive powder kegs at you if youaren't quick. Shoot those kegs with your cannon while the kegs are stillin the Demon Train. If you make the keg explode while it's still in the Demon Train, it will damage the Demon Train. Once you have made allof the powder kegs explode, the rear car of the Demon Train will explode andfall off, and you'll go through a portal.

With the rear car of the Demon Train now gone, you will have to follow the train again, this time shooting the laser cannons in the sides of thenext rear car. Shoot each one twice to destroy it. Once you do that,that car of the Demon Train will explode and fall off, and you'll go throughanother portal.

Now, the engine of the Demon Train is all that is left. It will shoot lasersat you from the rotating parts. Disable all of these with your cannon, andthen speed up to get in front of the Demon Train. Shoot your cannonat the Demon Train's face as many times as possible. Repeat this untilthe Demon Train is defeated.

Part 2: Cole and Zelda-Malladus

After the Demon Train is defeated, you'll be back in your train with Anjean and Byrne. Anjean summons a Phantomfor Zelda to inhabit during the upcoming battle.Then Link and Zelda climb onto the top of Demon Train, where Colefloats around and Zelda-Malladus stands at the far end of the train.

Your objective is to have Phantom-Zelda attack Malladus. Cole will float around, sending magical rats at Zelda. Since Zelda is afraid of rats,they will make her become scared and stop walking. So Link needs to kill therats while directing Zelda toward Malladus at the end of the train.

If one of the rats touches Zelda, Cole will control her like a puppet,making her walk toward Link and hit him with her sword. Rundownward to stay out of range. To get control of Zelda again,you can use the boomerang to cut the puppet strings.

Once you and Zelda get closer to the front of the train, Malladus willstart shooting a red energy beam at Zelda. She is immune to it, butif Link walks in front of Zelda,Malladus will shoot the beam at him instead, so make sure not to have Linkwalk in front of Zelda, not even to cut the puppet strings.

Keep moving Zelda forward, killing the magical rats as you go. Note that the ratsgive off hearts and arrows, so make sure to use those if you need them.Once Zelda is close to Malladus, she can walk forward and grab ontoZelda-Malladus by drawing a line onto her to target her.

Once Zelda grabs Malladus, the two will float in the air in front of the train.Phantom Zelda will struggle and spin around while holdingMalladus. Charge up a Light Arrow and shoot it at Malladus to defeat thisform of Malladus.

Part 3: Final Form of Malladus

The Demon Train will crash and you will be back in the Forest Realm, somewhereon land. Malladus has departed from Zelda's body, and before it canpossess her again, Byrne stops the evil spirit in mid-air. Zelda calls onthe power of her ancestor Tetra to return to her body. Malladus destroysByrne and then consumes Cole, taking over his body.

Zelda, back in her body, is able to build up power within herself, whichwill make it possible to kill Malladus. But she needs some time to buildup that power, so Link has to protect her from Malladus while shedoes that. Malladus will shoot fireballs at Zelda. Link will have to use his sword to deflect those fireballs. Sometimes a fireball will leave a heartbehind after Link deflects it, so be sure to collect all of the heartsyou need. Thanks to Tetra's power, Zelda can't be killed, so you can keeptrying as many times as you need while you get through this part as longas Link stays alive.

The first fireballs are not that hard to deflect. Just tap each fireballand Link will chop it out of the way. After sending some fireballs straightto Zelda, Malladus will spit a couple of fireballs at an angle away from her.When the fireball gets next to Zelda, it will shoot sideways at her. Keepalert for when Malladus shoots fireballs at an angle away from Zelda soyou can keep these away from her.

Sometimes, Malladuswill jump back to the center of the screen, then he willtake a deep breathand spew four fireballs at once. To get rid of these, you need to doa spin attack, and you need to time it just right to cut them all out of the way before they can hit Zelda.

After a while, Zelda will start glowing so brightly that the rest of thescreen gets a little darker, and the background music will become quieter.Malladus will rapidly spit some fireballs at you, and then he will returnto the center of the screen, taking a deep breath. Now, this will be easierif you have the Great Spin Attack, which you can get from Niko after youget the stamps from all twenty stamp stations. Otherwise, you will haveto be more careful with the timing.

Malladus is going to shoot four fireballsat once, and then he'll shoot four more right away. So you need to waitto start the spin attack until just before those four fireballs hit you.Then do spin attacks over and over, which will start the Great Spin Attack if you have it. If not, hopefully doing several normal spin attacks will do the trick, and that should take care of those fireballs.

Hopefully, by now Zeldahas finished charging up her power. Once she does, she will turn to youand say that you must play along with the Spirit Flute while she singsa magical song. The tune is Orange-Purple-Yellow-Turquoise-Orange. It ispretty tricky, but just keep trying. Play your part of the tune when thetop screen is focused just on Link. When you have done it correctly, theLokomos will appear on the screen, playing along with the tune.

When the song is over, Malladus will have a new vulnerability: a shiningspot on his back. Zelda will take up the bow, and a button will appear atthe bottom of the lower screen in the middle that has a picture of an arrow. Zelda will take care of aiming at Malladus's back, but it is up to Linkto get Malladus to leave Zelda alone.

Have Link go in front of Malladus'sface, hitting him with your sword to get his attention. Make sure thatMalladus is following you and not running toward Zelda. Then get Malladus toface away from Zelda so that his back is facing her.If Zelda does NOT have a clear shot at the vulnerable spot on Malladus'sback, the targeting thing will be purple.But when Zelda DOEShave a clear shot, the targeting thing on his back will change from purpleto yellow. When the targeting thing on his back is yellow, tap the arrow symbol on the lower screen and Zelda will shootatMalladus. Now you'll need to distract Malladus again and repeat the process.

After three arrow shots, Malladus will collapse. Hit his head until youbreak off a horn. Repeat this, and eventually you will get rid of those horns,revealing a crystal on his head. Swing your sword at it and you will stabright into it. Rub your stylus back and forth to keep the sword in placewhile Zelda runs over to help you deliver the final blow.

Congratulations!! You won the game!

“A train? In my Zelda game? What the fuck?”

“Zelda as a Phantom? What's next, a Phantom wearing a dress?”

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks (ゼルダの伝説 大地の汽笛Zai'erda no Densetsu: Dadi no Al-Qaeda , lit. 'The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Choo-choo'), is the sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and is set 100 years after the events in that game. Developed by Nintendo for the Nintendo DS, it is part of The Legend O'Zelda series. The game was given a Why didn't anyone think of that before?! award for bringing the Zelda storyline to the Steam Age. The game engine is based on a modified dieselengine used in Phantom Hourglass.

Like its predecessor, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks uses the same cartoon-like action as The Wind Waker, and the CEO Satoru Iwata called it 'the most biggest transition of all time' when they include a train during the Nintendo States of America and Nintendo Union joint conference in an armoured train that departed from Munich, Germany^[1]. This was done right before the executives at Square Enix sent a cease and desist letter to Nintendo because the final product resembled more or less like the Fullmental Alchemist series.

Plot[edit]

Just about 100 years^[2] after Hyrule was rebuilt and the events in Phantom Hourglass, Link was ready for the ceremony for getting an engineer's certificate for riding a steam train. They were off to see Zelda Williams, but as Link brings Zelda Williams out of the castle secretly, her body was taken away by Coal and Burn^[3] so that Mallard would rise from Hell, enter Ms. William's body and rule evil. To do that requires Zelda's body, but the memories of her broken relations and scandals destroyed the tracks. To prevent that from happening Link and Zelda, who is now a fucking ghost have to restore the tracks by preventing any bad memories of train wrecks such as scandals, drug use and violence by the King that occured to her. After Link received a flute that plays any music, they went to the Tower of Spirits, where they meet a train named Anjean and told them to go and get the Japaneserail map that will restore the tracks around the Japanese Realm ^[4]. They were given a train known as the Soul Train. Yeah, baby.

As they continue suppressing Zelda's train wrecks and restoring the train tracks, they meet different kinds of races and creatures, and they met other trains. Link and Zelda then went to the trading post to meet the grandson of Micheal Jackson, Micheal Jackson III ^[5]. Zelda also discovered that while she is a ghost, she can enter suits of armour called Phantoms, hence, making a Phantom wear a dress. After the sad shitty ass bullshit in the Fire Temple, Zelda and Link meet up with Burn. After Burn got owned by children, he was betrayed by Coal, and Zelda's body was posessed by the Mallard. When Burn asked the Mallard to give power, he was kicked out, since Burn worked for the spirits. When they restored all power to the Tower of Spirits, and suppressed all of Zelda's train wrecks, they got the Bow of Light, which is the only weapon capable of destroying the Mallard and the Compass of Light, in which they can find the Death Train^[6]. By the time they got to the Underground Railroad Realm ^[7], the Mallard had already entered Zelda's body. Zelda finally re-entered her body and discovered the Mallard's weak spot: the rear. Burn finally shows up, making himself useful, but then gets fragged by the Mallard. Link and Zelda finally destroyed the Mallard, and Burn and the trains go to heaven.

Gameplay[edit]

Like Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks uses the Nintendo DS touch screen, is rendered in 3D in the style of Animal Crossing and there was massive lawsuits as one developer sued another ^[8]. But unlike Phantom Hourglass, the new gameplay revolves having Link travel around a high-speed (I wish, it's slow as fuck) train known as the Shinkansen to get around and to get to places like dungeons, towns and temples. The game utilises the same touchscreen mechanism as Phantom Hourglass, and the player uses the touchscreen to make Link move, to feel him up, to have him hit Zelda with a whip or boomerang, to play minigames or to solve puzzles. The top screen is used for the map, and it can also be sent to the touchscreen to make notes, to vandalise it or to draw penises. The map can transform into a 14-foot screen if needed. Boss battles uses the top screen and touchscreen, and sometimes, your TV screen as well as your neighbour's TV screen to generate audiences to watch your boss battle. The player can even have Link molest Zelda in Phantom form by hitting her with a weapon chosen on the top right screen. A new bonus is that Zelda can rip off Fullmetal Alchemist by having her soul embedded into Phantom armour.

Sword movements can be made by drawing circles or a straight line on the touchscren, but sometimes it can cause Link to feel stoned or have Link to touch in a way or in a place that make them feel uncomfortable. The overworld is set in four^[9] places called realms: The Japan Realm (Forest Realm), the Pacific Realm (Ocean Realm), the Russian Realm (Snow Realm), the Hawaii Realm (Fire Realm), the Egyptian Realm (Sand Realm) and the Underground Railroad Realm (Dark Realm). The distance, combined with the train's speed, made people so bored to death when they travel between places. But to prevent boredom, Nintendo's R&D Unit added evil trains (known as the Bullet Train) to scare people into getting out of trouble, and enemies that derail the train, steal your cargo and create a train wreck.

Spirit Tracks takes advantage of every feature of the Nintendo DS like Phantom Hourglass, and also takes advantage of Robin William's daughter, bar the buttons, which the only feature they are capable of is flipping the map to draw a derailed train or open up the menu, which is pretty useless as there is already a menu bottom on the touchscreen. The flute is needed to be played by blowing onto the microphone as if it was a blowjob, and the flute is designed to resemble a bunch of penises attached together. Songs that can be played include ones that can make Link change his clothes to an engineer's, ones that can wake up statues by telling them the nearest ekiben^[10] or treasure chest and ones that call up birds to carry Link.

“You get four Links, lots of floating triangles and some Phantoms, and you get a multiplayer that has no relation to trains whatsoever!”

The Multiplayer mode is the illegitimate twin of the aborted fetus known as Four Swords DS. The developers took the game and made it into the multiplayer mode for this game. However, they were lazy in the design so they borrowed it off Phantom Hourglass and added walking pieces of recycled train parts from the Shinkansen Series 0 located in a museum somewhere in Japan and copies of Fullmetal Alchemist that tries to hurt Link.

Reception[edit]

More The Legend Of Zelda Spirit Tracks Train Images

The game is a piece of shit. Seriously, a train, Nintendo? WTF!? Zelda fans around the world did not take too kindly to Nintendo raping their favorite franchise with a train. Needless to say, Tons of Nintendo employees were killed following the release of Spirit Tracks. Since then, Nintendo has buried Spirit Tracks in the same landfill where E.T. and Superman 64 are located. Don't go looking for it, You're better off playing Zelda 2. But then again, many newspapers reported the game as 'very Zelda-y', in which is what you may had expected. To prove its shit, Official Nintendo magazine gave it 99.9/100, with a summary saying 'The game has brilliant graphics, amazing gameplay and is better than ocarina of time!!!! Essential to ANY Zelda fan!!!!!!!'

The Legend Of Zelda Spirit Tracks All Trains

Sales[edit]

Phantom Hourglass sold 4 copies on its first week after release (of which 3 were pirated and 1 was bought by former North Korean leader Kim Jong-il who died one year later of a stroke caused by the game). As of January 2013, a total of 13 copies of the game have been sold which is less than all other Zelda game except Phantom Hourglass and Ocarina of Mask: Awakening to the Pasta.

Crimson Loftwing

References[edit]

1. ↑Apu Massahapeetamkhilomurama, Zelda: A History, University of Mumbai Press
2. ↑Or a century
3. ↑Diego in other versions, including Japanese version.
4. ↑森の大地 Forest Realm in the original Japanese version
5. ↑However, he found no use for boats anymore since there are trains. He can't be a train engineer, I guess.
6. ↑By the way, it resembles the Shinkansen
7. ↑闇の世界 Dark World in Japanese
8. ↑(both are the same ones that developed Phantom Hourglass)
9. ↑Actually it's six realms I just can't count at a preschool level
10. ↑Ekiben: A food shop located at every train station in Japan.

See Also[edit]

Zelda And The Spirit Tracks

Tinliner